Shakespeare Sucks!
by neo123
Summary: Bakura gets first hand experience at Romeo and Juliet...kind of...BxR


Jaazi: Yes, it is ANOTHER oneshot…and yes, it is tendershipping.

Disclaimer: If I owned Yugioh, all the Yami-centric merchandise would be Bakura-centric merchandise. But nooooo, Yami has to be such a damn glory-hog…

* * *

**Shakespeare Sucks!**

Monday morning, Bakura was found trudging along the sidewalk on his way to school. How he HATED school…or maybe it was just English class. Either way, he was not happy to be going to school. English class was okay and all but then they had to start THAT unit. His musings were interrupted by his two companions.

"Aww, Baku is still upset about English class!" Mariku cooed mockingly, wrapping his arms around the upset white-haired boy.

"Poor Thief. Can't he handle a little Shakespearean story?" Yami mocked from the other side.

Bakura scowled as he shoved Mariku off of him, "How many times have I told you to keep your dirty hands off me?" Bakura growled.

Why couldn't they understand that the play was one of the most stupid things ever written? His two so called…associates mocked and teased him the rest of the way to school.

* * *

Bakura sat in his desk like a good little boy. Tch, yeah, right. Actually, he was currently glaring at the ceiling of his beloved English classroom. The teacher, Ms. Niwa, had just finished passing out a copy of Romeo and Juliet to everyone in the classroom.

"Bakura, would you please grace me with your attention?" Ms. Niwa snapped. Bakura smirked.

"Sorry, but you're too old for me…besides, I'm more partial to boys," Bakura gave the irate teacher a wink.

"Bakura, this is very important literature that every educated person should know!" she lectured sternly. Bakura stood up quickly.

"Important literature? The story's about two love-struck idiots who wind up dead!" Bakura ranted, pacing back and forth.

"I mean honestly! What kind of idiot spends his time pining after someone who won't spare him a second glance?" Bakura paused. He glanced over at Yami.

Yami was currently staring at a boy across the classroom. The boy was none other than the amazingly oblivious Yugi Motou. Yami's eyes were glazed over and if he stared any longer, Bakura was pretty sure that he was going to start drooling…again.

"Well, besides Yami," Bakura amended, "And then, the guy is supposedly head over heels for the girl but suddenly sees Juliet and decides that she's much better. Then Juliet sees him and decides to go all googly-eyed at him. There's no such thing as love at first sight! Then they've known each other for what? Three hours? And decide to get married the next day! But wait, as if that weren't bad enough, their parents hate each other," Bakura continued to rant.

"What happens next, Bakura? Since you're such an expert and all," the teacher asked, smirking slightly.

"They get secretly married, that's what! But, wait, there's more! Juliet's cousin accidentally kills Romeo's friend and Romeo accidentally kills Juliet's beloved cousin! So now, he's a fugitive. Juliet's all crying over it because she'll never see Romeo again. The priest dude comes up with the perfect plan to get them back together. Juliet drinks this poison that gives her a false-death and she gets buried alive! Romeo doesn't know that she's not really dead and is going to wake up, so what the idiot does is kills himself at Juliet's resting site. Juliet wakes up, sees Romeo dead, and decides to grab Romeo's dagger and stabs herself in the heart. The lovers die. The end," Bakura growled.

"The only reason the play shouldn't be burned is because it has gore! Everything else is just bull! Seriously! Someone can not just waltz in here and steal someone else's heart away because of how…beautiful…he…looks," Bakura finished lamely as someone entered the classroom suddenly. If it wasn't for the fact that Bakura's jaw was attached to his skull, he was sure it would've clattered onto the floor.

Walking up to the teacher was a boy with silver-white hair that reached the middle of his back. He had skin pale as milk and the most beautiful, brilliant, radiant, emerald eyes that shone with innocence and purity. The boy's lips were a light pink color and they looked absolutely kissable!

Bakura stood there, jaw still open where he stopped mid-rant, staring. The teacher looked up to see him and smirked. Smiling, she met the rest of the class's gaze.

"It looks as if we have a new student, class! May I introduce to you all, Ryou Shiozu!" Ms. Niwa said. Ryou blushed and shyly waved to the class. "Well, Ryou, you can take a seat in front of Bakura. He's the one who can't get his mouth closed, see him?"

Ryou looked up at Bakura and smiled. Bakura felt his heart stop. Numbly, Bakura sat down in his seat and stared as Ryou took the seat in front of him.

* * *

Bakura glared at the boy sitting in front of him. He was mocking him! He sat there looking all innocent and pretty and pure just knowing that it would drive Bakura off the deep end! He was doing this on purpose! He was! There was no possible way the boy could make himself look so tantalizing without knowing it.

It was only Wednesday and Bakura was ready to commit suicide…or homicide, he hasn't decided which yet. That boy had been at school for only three days, THREE DAYS, and Bakura couldn't get enough of him.

For three torturous days Bakura had to sit behind Ryou (who coincidentally was in ALL of his classes and, as if that weren't bad enough, was seated in front of him in ALL of his classes, too!) watching his beautiful, shimmering, soft, silky, silvery-white hair fall gracefully from his shoulders down his back and barely, just _barely,_ brush against Bakura's desk. For three torturous days, Bakura had to use every once of will power he had to not run his coarse fingers through the beautiful, shimmering, soft, silky, silvery-white hair.

When the bell rang, Bakura all but ran out of the class. He fled from the boy with beautiful, shimmering, soft, silky, silvery-white hair and shining, radiant, warm, caring, emerald-green eyes and smooth, pliant, plush, velvety, pale-pale-pink lips. Bakura began smashing his head against the cafeteria table as he realized what he just thought.

That was how his two closest…acquaintances found him. As amusing as it was to watch Bakura attempt to bash his brains out, they stopped him. Bakura, whose forehead was an interesting shade of pink, glared at the two.

"Bakura, don't kill off your brain cells like that! God knows you didn't have that many to begin with!" Yami snickered.

"Bakura's thinking about his pretty-pretty-Ryou, isn't he?" Mariku asked, a mischievous spark gleaming in his eyes. Bakura growled.

"I am NOT thinking about Ryou OR his beautiful, shimmering, soft, silky, silvery-white hair OR his shining, radiant, warm, caring emerald-green eyes OR his smooth, pliant, plush, velvety, pale-pale-pink lips!" Bakura screeched.

Bakura paled as he saw the two's shocked expressions. They knew that Bakura had had a slight infatuation with the new boy, but they didn't think it was THAT serious! Bakura immediately began bashing his head against the table in an attempt to get rid of any bad thoughts.

_"Ryou's pretty, velvety, lips"_

_BAM!_

_"Ryou's pretty, soft, pale-as-moonlight hair"_

_BAM! BAM!_

_"Ryou, flushed and sweaty, chained to a bed in black leather pants with a matching corset…"_

_BAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAM-CRACK!_

"Uh, Bakura…I think you broke the table," Yami stated in shock. Mariku just gaped at the two pieces of wood-looking plastic that had previously been a table.

Bakura groaned, "Why me? WHY?"

Yami and Mariku stared at Bakura, who was now close to tears, with pity. They couldn't just let their accomplice suffer like that, could they? A horned demon with a pitch-fork looking thin and an angel with little red horns holding up its halo appeared on their shoulders.

_"Yes, you can leave him to suffer and watch as he writhes in emotional agony!" _the little demon cackling so hard he fell off of Mariku's shoulder.

_"You could…"_ the little angel-who-looked-more-like-a-demon nodded in agreement, _"But then who would you pin the blame on if you ever get in trouble?"_

Mariku glanced at Yami, "He's got a point you know…"

Yami sighed dejectedly, "I guess we have to help him then. Besides, we got Seto and Jou together, how hard will this be?"

"Right, so all we have to do is lock them in the library after dark like we did with them right?" Mariku asked.

"Nah, let's be more creative this time," Yami smirked mischievously.

Bakura never noticed they had left. He also failed to notice the conniving smirks on both of their faces. Nope, the only thing he noticed at the time was that bashing your head against a table continuously gave a person one heck of a headache.

* * *

Over the next week and a half, Bakura had experienced very odd encounters with the object of his obsession, er…affections, yeah, that's right. It was making Bakura rather paranoid. Or at least more paranoid than he was before.

That incident when Ryou had somehow manage to land in his arms. They had both toppled over, with Ryou on top straddling his waist. Ryou had blushed an amazing shade of red and apologized profusely. Bakura was completely speechless and had stayed on the floor long after Ryou had gotten up and left.

Then that other time when they were accidentally handcuffed together. He STILL didn't know how that happened. They were stuck with each other for the entire school day until they could make it to the metal shop to get it sawed off. Bakura was driven even more insane than he was before because of Ryou's closeness. He had to resist the urge to jump the poor boy all day.

Then the latest incident they were stuck in detention together for something neither of them did! Ryou was distraught and sobbing. Bakura had to comfort him…not that he had complained about it or anything. Who wouldn't love having the boy of his dreams sobbing on their shoulder all the while caressing his back and muttering soothing words? Of course the need to kiss said boy nearly killed him, but what the hey?

And to think all of this started when the class started their Romeo and Juliet unit. Stupid Shakespeare. It was all his fault for inventing that stupid romance-y junk and the whole love at first sight thing. Damn Shakespeare, damn Romeo and Juliet, damn Ryou and his damn prettiness.

Bakura was grumbling about this on his way to his locker. Suddenly he was grabbed from behind. He let out a startled growl.

"Bakura! Just the person I wanted to see!" Mariku cried out gleefully, "Listen, could you go get something from the janitor's closet for me. Really? That's great, thanks! I knew I could count on you!" Mariku said and he all but shoved him in to the previously mentioned closet.

He landed roughly on his side in the rather small closet. He got up and was about to get out and kick Mariku's ass, when another person was thrown in too. The person collided with him and sent them both on the floor. Looking up, Bakura was met by a pair of large green eyes.

"Hm, I feel a strange sense of déjà vu. Does this position seem familiar to you or is it just me?" Bakura said, surprising himself. It was the first coherent sentences he had said to the boy the entire time he was here! He smirked at the bright red boy.

"I-I know, I'm s-sorry!" Ryou stuttered, scrambling off of Bakura.

"Forget about it, no big deal. I'm sure it wasn't your fault anyway," Bakura replied, once again surprising himself with his cool demeanor.

Bakura stood up, brushing himself off. He sauntered over to the door to get themselves out. The knob wouldn't budge. He rattled it again. Nope, still wouldn't move.

"DAMN YOU, MARIKU! LET US OUT NOW!" Bakura yelled angrily. Ryou paled.

"Y-you mean we're stuck here?" Ryou asked nervously.

"Yeah, seems like it."

"Oh."

"Yep."

"Okay."

"Uh-huh."

The two stayed quiet. Ryou clicked the light on so that they wouldn't be in total darkness. He then took out a small book from his book bag. Bakura watched curiously as Ryou flipped the book open.

"Watcha reading?"

"Um, Romeo and Juliet?"

"You like reading this crap?" Bakura asked a bit more harshly than he meant to. Ryou glanced sharply at him.

"Yes…it's not that bad."

"They both die, how is that not bad? Not to mention it all happens in three days! Someone cannot fall out of love, then fall back in love, get married, become a wanted fugitive, die, com back to life, then die again in three days!" Bakura protested.

"Well, it's not a true story. It's more of an example than anything else," Ryou explained as Bakura plopped down next to him. He leant over to see where Ryou was reading. Ryou's blush returned full force. This caused Bakura to worry.

"Hey, are you okay? Your face is all red," Bakura asked.

"I'm fine!" Ryou squeaked. Bakura leant in closer, looking Ryou square in the eye.

"Are you sure?" Bakura asked again. Ryou ducked his head, letting his hair conceal his face.

"Yes, I'm sure," Ryou said softly. Bakura then realized their closeness and immediately pulled back.

"Have you noticed that we seem to get stuck in these situations a lot?" Bakura asked, trying to strike up a conversation. Ryou giggled.

"You noticed that too? I guess it could've been worse though," Ryou said.

"Really? How?" Bakura said, quirking an eyebrow. Ryou blushed a bit more.

"I could've been stuck with someone else. At least this way, I get to spend time with someone I like," Ryou finished in a whisper. Bakura's heart skipped a few beats.

"Like? Like in what w-way?" Bakura said in a slightly breathless voice.

"Um, I, er, you probably don't like me the same way, but…" Ryou paused.

Bakura took did the bravest thing he'll probably ever do in his entire life. He cupped Ryou's face in his hands, lifting his face to meet his eyes. He tenderly brushed his lips against Ryou's. In the most gentle gesture he had ever given anyone, he pressed his lips firmly against Ryou's. He didn't force his way into Ryou's mouth, instead kept it sweet and chaste.

Bakura pulled away, embarrassed. Ryou blinked out of his daze. Bakura watched Ryou carefully to see his reaction. Ryou started to turn an odd shade of blue. It was then Bakura realized Ryou stopped breathing.

"Ryou? Breathe! Breathe, Ryou, breathe!" Bakura grabbed Ryou by the shoulders and shook him slightly. Ryou snapped back into the real world and gasped some in some much needed oxygen.

"Did you just…? Why…? What?" Ryou questioned. Bakura blushed.

"Well, I really like you and then you said you liked me so it seemed like a good idea at the time," Bakura muttered.

Ryou's face lit up. Suddenly Bakura found himself tackled to the floor, again. Ryou was giggling happily.

"You've no idea how glad I am to hear that," Ryou exclaimed. Bakura laughed.

"I think I do," Bakura replied as he leant in for another kiss.

Unfortunately, it was then that the door opened. Yami and Mariku stood at the door way smirking. Yami pulled Ryou off the ground and hugged him, Mariku did the same with Bakura.

"It's about damn time! Mariku and I were running out of ideas of how to get you two together!" Yami said patting Ryou on the back.

"You two! You put me through all this?" Bakura growled angrily. Mariku eeped and hid behind Yami.

"Well, it worked didn't it?" Mariku said meekly.

Bakura put a possessive arm around Ryou's waist. Grinning he pulled him close, "Yeah, it did."

And this all started with a little Shakespearean touch, Bakura mused happily. Maybe Shakespeare wasn't such a bad guy after all.

"Hey, Bakura? Did you study for the Romeo and Juliet test next class?" Ryou asked. Bakura growled.

Scratch that last thought, Shakespeare sucks.

* * *

Jaazi:That has got to be one of the most sappiest things I've ever written...I've got nothing against Shakespeare, okay,I'm not too fond of Romeo and Juliet, but Shakespeare's okay.

DJ: At least we both agree on that play.

KK: Shakespeare talk is confuzzling.

Damian: Please feel free to leave a review.


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